Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
How's work?
Spinning.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
