I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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