you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
