Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
