Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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