the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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