Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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