I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
How does one acquire holy water?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
