it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
