Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
No subtext here. People are naked.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize