Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?

Fav 12 3263 772
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(971): View more from Oregon

Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously

(503): View more from Oregon

you are my hero

Fav 20 5185 1363
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(647): View more from Ontario

Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.

Fav 7 4883 1404
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(770): View more from Georgia

We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.

Fav 2 2337 1150
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(254): View more from Texas

...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.

Fav 4 3264 1381
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(314): View more from Missouri

Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.

Fav 7 1475 759
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(315): View more from New York

My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.

Fav 7 2916 835
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.

Fav 2 612 334
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(260): View more from Indiana

let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"

Fav 0 10 27
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