and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
