The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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