K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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