Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
