oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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