i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i think i have herpe
just one?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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