I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
