It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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