I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
