The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
