Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
