what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
