i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
