i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
