it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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