I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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