I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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