Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
