Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
