doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
