his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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