No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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