Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
