i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
