anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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