Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
