I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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