we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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