Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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