Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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