My Higher Power is John Stamos
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
