I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
