new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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