It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize