bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
