fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
