I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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