Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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