I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
