i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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