After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Im part way to drunk.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
