hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
