Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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