i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
