i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
