I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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