You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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