well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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