I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
this hospital has no fireball
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Randomize
