i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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