I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
