your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
