me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
