Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
