please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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