dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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