Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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