Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
is that a dick in a sweater?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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