Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
