her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
