Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
