Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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