I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He uses pillows to masturbate.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
