I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
